FAIRFACE PODCAST SHOW NOTES
Hello my friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Fairface Podcast. I'm so happy to be with you again today.
As I'm recording this, we just survived our first major fall windstorm here in Seattle and thankfully, although our power totally went out for about a minute, it came back on and we didn't get stuck in the dark and cold like so many thousands of other people.
It reminded me how thankful I am to have an emergency plan in place and extra supplies on hand, to get through a storm, or power outage and other emergencies. If you haven't listened to the last episode, # 25 on how to make your own personal hygiene kit and other emergency necessities, I highly recommend listening to that...because I can tell you it feels much better, in an emergency, to be prepared rather than surprised.
A focus on Wellness
Today I want to talk to you about a wellness topic that I've been thinking a lot about lately. I spend a lot of my free time learning about how to be better and feel better and live better and try to put those things that I've learned, into practice.
I think we all have things we try to work on and work through in our lives, because life and being a human being is complicated.
In addition to my own religious and spiritual practices, I have also really loved learning the teachings of holistic psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera, the author of How to do the Work, and she also has a podcast.
I also like listening to Brooke Castillo's, Life Coach Podcast, and the Anxiety Coach's Podcast, all of which help me to move out of my own way, out of my own head, and see things from a different perspective. They also give me different tools and a different lens to look at myself and my life through, that have helped.
I also saw a counselor for a while, a year or so ago and that was a really good experience to help me work through some anxiety, that was too hard for me to work through on my own.
So this episode is personal for me, well, honestly, they all really are.
How to hear your Inner Voice
Today I want to talk to you about how to hear your own inner voice, so you can start to feel more at peace and know who you are, what you want and where you are going.
This idea came to me the other day after I had listened to SO many podcasts in a row (ironically enough) that I was mentally exhausted and couldn't even think, to do my own work.
Every time one podcast episode ended, I felt this strange almost magnetizing pull, as if I had no other choice, than to listen to another episode.
It's like the place in between the silence and the next episode was so uncomfortable to my mind (and I could even feel it in my body), that I couldn't help myself from pushing play again, ad nauseum.
After taking some time to reflect on that day, I realized my compulsion with listening to all those podcasts was just a way of numbing myself from life and procrastinating, while justifying that I was taking in information and learning, rather than facing the hard things that I needed to do.
It was a distraction to the point of exhaustion. It was like force feeding myself until I was so sick but continued to stuff my face (which I've probably also done at some point, if I'm being honest).
In these times of immense distraction, we can't hear our own thoughts. We can't hear our own inner voice. We can't hear the voice of a higher power.
We are letting someone else's voice be what we hear and it drowns out, even stunts our ability, to hear and connect with ourselves.
It may be that we don't want to think our own thoughts because maybe we're going through something hard, or we have so much to do that we can't even bare to think about it, let a lone start, or if we had even a few minutes of quiet, the thoughts that would be left to race through our minds are too difficult to deal with so we quiet our inner voice, by drowning it out with everything else.
Some people check-out with social media, podcasts, tv, alcohol, food, others stay SO busy that they can't possibly hear their inner voice because they are racing to the next thing. They work themselves to exhaustion, running crazy on purpose so they won't have time to think their own thoughts because it's too scary to be left alone with the things they don't want to face.
Do you feel this way sometimes?
Are you afraid of the quiet?
Are you afraid it will uncover your fears and worries?
Are you afraid of what your inner voice might say?
Are you afraid of being alone with your own thoughts without anything to distract you?
I thought it would be helpful to approach this idea of
How to hear your own inner voice, in 3 parts:
- 1st, How to overcome the fear of facing your inner voice (a.k.a your own thoughts)
- 2nd, How to make the space for your inner voice
- and 3rd, How to hear it
-----Now just as a side note, I'm not saying it's not good to listen to podcasts (obviously I'm recording this podcast and you're listening to it), so podcasts aren't bad, and it's not bad to read, or watch tv, or eat good food...I'm talking about using these "good things" in excess, as a distraction from yourself and your life. So I just wanted to make that clear before we go on.-----
The old quote, “No matter where you go. . .there you are!” is almost haunting because you can't actually ever get away from yourself.
No matter what distraction you might choose to silence your inner voice, it's still there and once the tv is turned off, or the chip bag is empty, you are probably left battling a negative inner voice that tells you how lazy you are. And no one wants to hear that, and then enters another distraction.
So lets 1st talk about
1. How to overcome the fear of facing your inner voice (and your own thoughts)
The simple answer is to:
Decide to Face it head on
Without outside distractions, it leaves us vulnerable to all the feelings and all the thoughts we don't want to face.
With anxiety-
a common reaction is to run away from it because you don't want to go through it, and don't want to feel it, whether it's a panic attack or physical or emotional feelings you don't want to face. From first hand experience with anxiety attacks, running away or trying to "make it stop" doesn't help.
What does help, even if it is very uncomfortable and the complete opposite of what you want to do, is to invite it in. To look at it straight in the eyes. To acknowledge what's happening with a sense of curiosity and letting go of trying to control it.
By deciding to face the fear of listening to your own thoughts head on, YOU become stronger, the fear does not. You are staring it down. It's no longer a mystery. It's not a giant. You are no longer hiding from it, which makes you shrink and get smaller. You are facing it head on with the Wonder Woman stance.
With overwhelm-
it can all feel SO BIG you can't even start, you can't face any of it.
So deciding to face it head on may look like writing out your to-do list of all the things. Get it all out on paper. Calendar it. Sure, it might mean you are staring down the busiest week or month of your life, but now it's tangible. It's reality. It's no longer just a bundle of worry. You can see it all in black and white (or color if you're fancy) and face it.
You can also-
Designate time for your worries -
I've heard it called making an appointment with your worries - so you give it a designated time to worry, and then you have permission to let it go the rest of the day until tomorrow's next worry appointment. That can help people feel some sort of structure around facing certain fears and worries and uncomfortable feelings, rather than leaving them at random (which generally means they just haunt you all day).
Your inner voice and your own thoughts don't have to be a scary place. It can be organized, it can be calm, it can be realistic, it can be grounding.
The other part to facing your own fears and inner thoughts, is to decide to
Love Your Inner Child
Now before you think what on earth is she talking about, all this woo woo, it's actually really helpful and validating, so hear me out.
Dr. Nicole LePera's work speaks about our inner child and how we've been conditioned to think and feel in certain ways based on our earliest bonds, whether positive or negative.
If you are carrying hurt and negativity from your past it can definitely affect your life in the present.
She teaches how to re-parent your inner child and give yourself the love and acceptance and encouragement, through what you think and say, to yourself every day (which really is your inner voice).
So decide to have the same compassion, patience and tone you would offer a scared or struggling child, to yourself. Replace negative voices and thoughts and ideas, with kind, caring words to yourself.
It can help to take the fear away of hearing your own inner thoughts because you have chosen to be compassionate and loving to yourself.
I highly recommend her book, and her podcast. I listened to her book and enjoyed hearing her read it and share her experiences.
Now lets look at the 2nd point and that is
2. How to make the space for your inner voice
Making space for hearing your inner voice, includes:
- Creating a physical space
- And creating time
You can't hear, listen to and connect with a quiet voice when you have distractions or noise around you.
When you have the tv going 24/7. When you have loud music playing. When you have a podcast in your ear. When you have children screaming around you. When you have eaten yourself sick or guzzled alcohol to the point of numbness.
Create a space that invites peace, that invites connection, that invites quiet so you can hear your inner voice. You have to create time, and set time aside, and make an appointment with yourself so that it's a priority.
Maybe this is all something you've never tried before, maybe it's a completely new idea and something you have to learn how to do.
I know it's easier said than done for many of you for many different reasons. We used to follow my mom to the bathroom and talk to her through the door. Really? Can you not wait 5 minutes with your totally not time sensitives question? I don't know if the woman ever had a moment of peace and quiet until we were all asleep and by then she was probably too exhausted to even think.
So I know for some of you, creating a space for peace and quiet and introspection and creating alone time, may be difficult. But it's not impossible if you make it a priority in even a small space or small amount of time. Maybe it's in your car, in the garage, maybe it's in the bathtub for 10 minutes.
Whatever your circumstances, create that space that invites peace, that invites quiet so you can hear your inner voice.
The 3rd and final point, is:
How to hear your inner voice
In order to hear your inner voice, it starts with learning HOW to hear your inner voice. And that may take practice.
Meditation is a great way to find peace and calm and hear your own inner voice, but for some, it's the opposite, and too hard to focus because they're so focused on trying to focus.
Maybe hearing your inner voice for you, actually:
- involves listening to quiet music,
- or playing an instrument,
- or maybe it's just straight quiet,
- maybe it's being outdoors with the sounds of nature,
- maybe it's focusing on a lighted candle
- Maybe your inner voice speaks to you best when you write out your thoughts and feelings, releasing them on paper
Try different ways to center your mind to a "quiet" place. Be willing to sit with your own inner thoughts and feelings and see what happens, even if it's setting a timer for 30 seconds to start with and let yourself feel the feelings so you can begin to face them and stop being afraid of them.
I would suggest even putting a little notebook beside you so after that time is over you can jot down any thoughts or feelings that came to your mind.
Your inner voice is unique to you
No one else can tell you what to think, no one else can tell you what you want for your life, or who you want to be.
Does what you bring into your life drain you or empower you?
I think this topic is particularly relevant right now, since many of us are still dealing with losses and fears and uncertainty related to the pandemic. I know I still don't feel normal, and life still feels uncertain and unsettling in a lot of ways.
It's important now more than ever to be able to make quiet space for your inner voice and thoughts and feelings, to open yourself up to inspiration, to guidance from a higher power, to see things from a different perspective, to face our fears so they lose power and we gain power, to start to feeling more at peace so you can know who you are, what you really want and where you want to go. It's powerful.
I hope this conversation has helped. I'm going to be very diligent in making this a priority and I hope you will too.
Blessings to you all and thank you again so much for being here.
I will see you next time.
xo Shannon Sorensen, Founder, CEO Fairface Washcloths for sensitive skin
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