How to go from just tolerating your skin to loving your skin
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[Update: After you've listened to this, you've got to listen to Episode 54 Tortured by my Dermatologist, where I describe in grizzly detail the brutal experience of having my sebaceous hyperplasia removed!]
Fairface Podcast transcript / show notes
Hello my friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Fairface Podcast. I'm so happy you're here with me.
Today I want to talk to you about why you might just be tolerating your skin and the things you are unhappy about with your appearance, and why you really don't need to do that anymore.
I've just been tolerating my skin instead of loving it
After my recent visit to my dermatologist, where I had my first ever full body skin exam [you can listen to that in our last episode], I realized there were things I had just been tolerating about my skin, and about my appearance, that were really holding me back from feeling my most confident self.
Overall I'm happy with my appearance but there are a few things that I don't love to see when I look in the mirror, that I feel self-conscious about...things that I've just been putting up with for years, that are actually easily fixable. So why haven't I done anything about it?
It got me thinking, how many of us are just tolerating things we'd really like to change about our skin or appearance, but we either don't have the time or energy, we're worried about the cost, we don't really know where to start, or maybe we feel guilty about even considering it?
The stories we tell ourselves about beauty
We have all been taught things like:
- Accept yourself for who you are
- Be grateful for what you have
- True beauty is on the inside
- If you care too much about what you look like you're vain or conceded
Or there are fears that if you do start some sort of skin enhancing treatment, you'll become obsessed and go completely overboard and become like a barbie or look less than human.
But what if instead of just tolerating the things we'd like to change about our skin, or feeling bad about even considering them, we build on the positive?
- Accept yourself for who you are AND embrace the possibilities for yourself
- Be grateful for what you have AND be grateful for the advanced skin care technologies we've been blessed with
- You can be beautiful on the inside AND highlight that beauty on the outside too
- You are allowed to like the way you look AND still be someone who is NOT the definition of vain or conceded.
- Just because you want to take good care of your skin and improve it's appearance doesn't mean you'll turn it into an overboard obsession.
Now I will say, that there is nothing wrong with being content with your skin and not wanting to change anything. I think it is a true gift for those people who have that level of true contentment and acceptance of themselves and their appearance.
But for those of us who love ourselves AND want to change a few things or enhance our outer beauty, we don't have to just tolerate what makes us feel bad about ourselves when we look in the mirror.
It can be empowering to improve our skin's appearance if we choose to.
Because it can affect not only how we feel about ourselves, but how we interact with others and how we put ourselves out into the world.
So I just wanted to emphasize first, that having procedures done to enhance your skin, that can help you feel better about your appearance doesn't need to be something negative. It can have a very positive outcome and be very empowering if that's something you choose to do. Along with that, it is also a very personal decision and we don't need to judge each other about it.
I hope that makes sense.
So why am I talking about this?
Signs of aging on my face
As my skin ages, I'm starting to see signs of aging like bumps, spots and fine lines that weren't there a few years ago. And due to my rosacea, I have visible capillaries on one of my cheeks, which makes me feel self-conscious about going without make-up.
So when I met with my dermatologist a few weeks ago, we went over a few things that I could choose to do, to improve the appearance of my skin.
So what are the treatments I want to have done on my face?
Skin treatments for my face
One of the procedures I would like to have done is to
- use a laser to help diffuse the broken capillaries on my cheek to hopefully make them disappear or at least become a lot less noticeable.
- I also have some little bumps called sebacious hyperplasia they will laser (or the derm will use electrocautery)
- and a spot of what's called seborrheic keratosis (seb-o-REE-ik ker-uh-TOE-sis) that was actually biopsied a few years ago that I need to have frozen off (I'll tell you more about that experience in a minute).
As my dermatologist reminded me, these things I mentioned that are bothering me, are easily fixable.
I actually had a free consultation with one of my dermatology office's estheticians a few years ago and she told me the procedures she would do and how much it would cost.
And although I am ready to not just tolerate these things anymore and take action, there are a few things holding me back, which I think are common for many of us.
And we'll talk about those things in a few minutes.
What are some areas of your skin that you'd like to change or improve?
Let's take a look at some of the different types of :
Skin treatments that can improve your skin without surgery
Botox
The first thing that comes to mind is Botox, since we hear about that alot.
I have not used Botox myself, but I do know some people who have. I know it can be kind of a controversial subject, but again, I'm not here to judge anyone, just to talk about what's available.
It's an injectable neurotoxin that's meant to give the skin a smoother, more youthful appearance, better refreshed or even more pleasant, by relaxing the nerves to the muscles associated with certain types of wrinkles.
Fillers
There are also different types of fillers for lips and cheek enhancements.
Skin Tightening Treatments
There are skin tightening treatments that can help tighten skin on the neck, or crepe skin on the chest or help tighten chin and cheek areas like jowls, and help to lift sagging brows or eyelids.
Laser Hair Removal
There are laser treatments to help remove unwanted hair.
Minimize Sun Damage and Signs of Aging
And there are procedures to minimize sun damage and age spots and smooth facial wrinkles and folds. They may use things like laser resurfacing, chemical peels, IPL Photorejuvenation, microneedling, and microdermabrasion.
Overview of Skin Enhancing Treatments
I found a great graphic on Americanboardcosmeticsurgery.org that goes over all of these types of procedures in detail. I'll link it in the show notes, in case you are interested in learning more.
So if you're looking for skin treatments that can help with things like:
- improving skin tone and texture,
- minimizing scars,
- treating sun damage,
- smoothing wrinkles,
- helping to tighten sagging skin and
- improve the tone and texture of your skin,
I think it's really helpful just to get a better understanding of what treatments are available and the general types results you can expect.
They did note that these types of procedures are not permanent (they may last 3 months to a year or more depending on the treatment) so you probably have to have ongoing treatments to keep the desired effects, and the procedures themselves often don't take very long to complete at each visit.
So have you ever had any of these treatments done? Or are you considering having any of these types of treatments done? I would love to hear about your experience or what you are thinking of doing.
What about Over the Counter Skin Treatments?
After learning about everything that's available and what it can do for your skin's appearance, it all sounds pretty great. I would love to improve many issues and areas of my skin.
There are always over the counter products you can try to get the same types of results, but I don't know how effective they are, compared to professional skin treatments.
But for right now, I'm going to just start with those few things I told you about earlier, and then consider whether I want to try any other types of treatments.
I did mention in my last episode that I want to start trying a retinol, and my dermatologist said she'd rather see me try to start is as an over the counter instead of prescription strength, so I think I'll start trying something like Olay Regenerist closer to the fall, since your skin can be more sensitive to the sun when using a retinol.
Can I use skin treatments on Rosacea?
With Rosacea, I know I need to be careful with a retinol and any other skin treatments.
An esthetician I talked to said for chemical peels, I would need to use something pretty gentle on my skin. So I would just need to discuss the specific thing I'd like to correct, and what they would recommend for my skin type.
What holds us back from having skin enhancing treatments done?
The first thing holding us back might be
1. Money
These types of skin enhancing procedures are generally not covered by insurance - even the procedures I want to have done to remove those bumps and a few spots, because many of them are considered cosmetic, and they aren't cheap.
For example, I think I remember the esthetician quoting something like $300 to remove up to 12 of the Sebaceous hyperplasia bumps (although I feel like it was more like 6 for $300 but I can't remember). So if you go above the allotted number, you've just doubled your cost.
And each type of problem you're treating is considered its own category. So if you also have a couple of little cherry spots to laser, that's it's own cost for a certain number of "those types of things", it's not like pay $300 for 12 of whatever you want done.
This was just with my dermatologist. It definitely may be different with your esthetician or dermatologists, but just keep in mind, you may have some sticker shock when they give you your quotes.
the 2nd reason we may by putting off getting skin treatments, is the
2. Fear of Pain and Problems
For me, the only thing I have to compare any work done on my face, is a biopsy I had several years ago...and I experienced both pain and problems.
There was an area of seborrheic keratosis (seb-o-REE-ik ker-uh-TOE-sis) near my nose and eye area, basically a little growth, that I told you about earlier.
My dermatologist was going to cut it off, and send it to the lab. The shot to numb that area hurt so badly, I could not believe how much pain it caused. Maybe it was because it was so close to my nose and there were a lot of nerve endings there, I'm not sure. But it really HURT.
Then when she was done cutting, she coterized it, which smelled really funky and made me feel dizzy and like I was going to faint. She had to lay the chair back and try to prevent me from passing out. It was not a good feeling.
Another unfortunate part, was that she used neosporin on the spot she cut, which created an allergic reaction on my face that over the weeks of healing, spread out from the spot into a kind of red, bubbly, itchy area...which I had to go back in after 2 weeks and get a steriod cream on it to clear it up.
She also had not cut off all the spot, she left some of it still on my face, so after it healed, that spot then continued to grow and is something I have to have taken off again, tho this time they will freeze it. So that was pretty disappointing.
FYI - most dermatologists do not recommend using neosporin, because many people can react to it, but unfortunately she did.
So having this as my only experience, leaves me a little hesitant for fear of any procedure really hurting again like that shot did or not healing right or looking worse than when I went in. Not to mention worrying that even after having all this work done, these problem areas might just coming back again (which my dermatologist said they can).
The 3rd thing that can hold us back from having skin procedures done to enhance our skin is
3. Recovery time
The truth is, there will probably never be a totally ideal time to hide away from the world for a week or two.
The image comes to mind of women in movies, from Beverly Hills who have had nose jobs and half of the women at the party show up with black eyes and their faces all bandaged up.
We all have daily commitments, family to take care of, events like weddings and birthdays where you don't want to show up with your face looking like a battlefield. Up to this point, it has just been my own delays, trying to figure out just the right time.
The "botched biopsy", as I'll call it, took about 2 weeks to heal instead of the predicted 1 because of the problems I encountered. I felt really self-conscious with a bandaid on my face for what felt like forever, and this was only one spot, and I'm considering having several done.
For the procedures I want to have done, they will use lasers and freezing and she indicated healing time could take around 7-10 days and during that time, you have to baby your face with vaseline to help with the healing.
She jokingly recommended having the procedures done the week before Halloween since people would be banged up anyway. So I'm seriously considering it. My birthday is in the middle of October, so maybe I'll call it a birthday gift.
So what things have you just been tolerating with your skin that you'd like to change?
And what is holding you back from doing some of these things?
I hope I haven't scared you too much with my "botched biopsy" story. I trust the dermatologist I see now more than the one who did the biopsy.
I also hope it has helped to maybe think of the stories we tell ourselves about beauty, in a different way. That it's not selfish or vain to want to feel better about the way we look and that it can actually enhance what we feel about ourselves on the inside.
We all have our own reasons for wanting to change certain things about our appearance, and we don't need to judge each other for it. I think we can all understand what it feels like to feel self-conscious about something and if there is something that can help to make us feel better about our appearance, there's no shame in that at all.
It really is such a blessing to have the advancements in medicine and technology that we have today and if it can help us feel better about our appearance, which can help boost self confidence and the way we put ourselves out into the world, I'm all for it.
So there can be any number of reasons we've just been tolerating certain things about our skin. And I guess it just comes down to weighing the pro's and cons, and whether the potential positive outcome exceeds your fears or hesitations about moving forward.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on all of this.
You can always find me on Instagram @FairfaceWashcloths or you are welcome to send me a message through our website, FairfaceWashcloths.com/contact-us.html.
If I do end up having some procedures done I will definitely share my experience with you, like I shared my last full body skin exam. I've said many times, I'm an open book, so I'm happy to share my experiences with you and answer any questions you might have.
I would also recommend checking with your favorite esthetician or dermatologist to see if they offer free consultations, so you can see what your options and costs are and what you might expect, to help you make a decision.
Well, that's it for today. Thanks again so much for being here. I'm so grateful for you guys! This community is so thoughtful and we are all here to support and encourage each other. I feel very lucky and really appreciate you.
Take care and I will see you next time!
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